is a pool swim in a swimming pool, and swimmers will be seeded according to swim
time, fastest to slowest. On your entry form, please turn in an accurate 300
meter swim time. Accurate, as in 'realistic'. Athletes not swimming
within one minute of their seed time will be highlighted in
the race results, and variances from seed times will be posted on every social media site currently in existence, along with a very unflattering picture of you bending over while coughing.
If you get scared and do not enter a swim time, you will be placed at the END
of the seeded athletes, possibly at an entirely different pool. You DO have the option of changing your
swim time up until 3 PM on July 22nd. Of THIS YEAR. If this is you, E-mail
the Race Director, tell him your name, apologize for making him do extra stuff, buy him a sandwich (ham), and tell him the time you
wish to enter. ABSOLUTELY NO CHANGES ACCEPTED AFTER
JULY 22nd. NONE. No, not even you. Or you.
cannot stress enough the importance of entering an accurate
swim time. This is important. Tax-day important. Flowers on Mother's day important. 'No those pants do not make you look fat' important. Did you even read the last paragraph? If you do not
enter an accurate time, a LOT of people are going to freak the freak out, and EVERYONE will notice and point you out at every race
for the rest of your life (assuming you have the dignity to enter another one) while whispering things about you
behind your back. LOUDLY. We will assign people to steal your neighbor's newspaper, and then blame it on you. So for Pete's
sake, go to a pool BEFORE you enter the race,
bring a watch, and TIME YOURSELF. Remember,
it's 300 METERS, NOT Yards, NOT Barleycorns, and NOT Smoots (35,433 Barleycorns = 176.28 Smoots, FYI). Meters are part of the
Metric System, that delightful system of measurement based on whole, round numbers that makes perfect sense that we, as Americans, have collectively pooped on. That being said, there is a SLIGHT difference between a Yard and a Meter. That slight difference is enough to jack up your swim time and make life miserable for everybody else, so pay attention : To convert a yard swim
time to meters, multiply the Yard time by 1.1. Have your kid do it. Use the internet. You probably
have an app for it. We really don't care, just get it right.
Then, instead of putting down some random set of numbers on
your entry form, you'll put down an accurate time, and everyone
will be much happier. Trust us, it's for your own good. Also,
for extra credit, tell us how many Perches are the equivalent of 14.913 Chains (Answer : 59.652. We know you'll never do it).
NOTE : YOU WILL BE SEEDED ACCORDING TO THE TIME YOU PUT ON YOUR
ENTRY. THE RACE DIRECTOR ALSO RESERVES THE RIGHT TO RE-SEED YOU
IF YOUR SEED TIME IS INCONSISTENT WITH PREVIOUS RACE RESULTS, OR IF HE DOES NOT LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB.
AND HE WILL TOTALLY DO IT TOO.